Tim Buckingham’s “but lost one”

When Tim wrote to us, we knew we would remember Myles:

“When I first read the poem, I did not see my connection to it right away. I didn’t really know what I was looking for. However, when I read the phrases available for tattoos, I began tripping over all the ideas and I emailed Kurt and Kremena with my choices as quickly as I could. I got my first choice, ‘but lost one.’

I chose ‘but lost one’ because on February 4, 2011 I lost my son Myles. He was the back end of a set of twins. His ‘older’ brother Hagan was born without any health problems. However, Myles had a very serious defect that he was not able to overcome and he passed 28 days after his birth.

‘but lost one’ seems a bit simple, but it felt like the mark I needed to carry at the time. It is fitting, it is who I am, and it is such a part of the story I am living. I have two beautiful children, ‘but I lost one.’ I love my ties to the community, to my family, ‘but I lost one.’ It isn’t a phrase that I use to dwell on; it is a phrase that is 100% reflective of a life occurrence.

People choose tattoos for all types of reasons—to celebrate, to commiserate, to remember. One of the most visceral feelings is the fear of being forgotten and this is so true when you lose a child. You want him or her to always be remembered and to be loved, and you find yourself thinking about the dreams and hopes you had for your child. But you lost one. Simply stated, I lost one.”

Tim Buckingham

Tim Buckingham’s “but lost one”